La la la lala Live for Today

     My husband of 25 years signed up for Medicare today and early next week will turn in his paperwork for Social Security. I didn’t expect it to affect me the way it did. I didn’t experience feelings like this when I signed up five years ago. For some reason it made me realize he is getting old, we are getting old. On Sunday I will be the same age my father was when he died forty years ago. I remembered the last time I saw him before he died and recall thinking he seemed so much older than the last time I’d seen him.

     Time definitely goes faster as we age. A year seems to whiz by now whereas when I was turning 16 and wanted to get my driver’s license, time  seemed to crawl along. Same thing when I was going to turn 21 and could Legally consume alcohol, in a bar. (Instead of sneaking the occasional cocktail 😉.) Snail’s pace slow. But then I turned forty and time definitely began to speed up. One day it’s New Years, then suddenly it is three months later and I don’t know where the time has gone.

     Time goes by in a flash. Unfortunately, there are people who won’t be reading this blog who would benefit from the message. It’s easy to put things or people off thinking you always have tomorrow. I learned the lesson “tomorrow is never promised” the year my Dad died. Father’s Day was coming and I really meant to get at least a card but I was busy so I just called. After all, I could make up for it next year, right? But instead, my father had a massive heart attack and died. No next year. I know my Dad knew how much I loved him, appreciated having him as my Dad. But missing that last Father’s Day has haunted me and probably always will.

     My Mom used to call me every Sunday and sometimes there really was nothing much to talk about. Those calls were often too short. There have been plenty of Sunday’s since she died when I’ve wanted to talk to her about something or ask her about life or her views on current events but there are no more calls. We didn’t always agree but I respected her so much and truly miss her wisdom. She really helped form the woman I am and I’m grateful for that.

     I don’t know how much time my husband and I have left together. It may be several years or only a few. Selfishly, I hope I go first as I can’t imagine spending even one day without him. We’ve been together continuously, every day (except when my husband’s mother died and he went to Texas for her funeral) for twenty five years. We work out of our home so we’re together all day, every day. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I never get tired of being together, never get bored or wish my life was different. It is the life I always wanted and I know how blessed I am.

    So, if you love someone or even if you just care for someone, tell them. We are never promised tomorrow. Enjoy each day, don’t live in some dream of how great tomorrow will be. Don’t live in a fantasy world. Live in today, be here now and if you know how to slow down time, let me know 🥴.