The thing that is hardest for me to understand is why people seem to be abandoning their morals, principles, values and sense for political division. I’m truly sad because I have lost parts of my life that have always meant a great deal to me; family, friends and neighbors who have pulled away or don’t engage anymore because we don’t see eye to eye politically. Discussion or intellectual exchange of ideologies is healthy. It gives everyone a chance to present their viewpoint, listen to someone else’s thoughts and perhaps be changed by the interaction. Either side may benefit from a different frame of reference. We are who we are, partially, because of things inherited from family. I believe most of who I have become is by living my life with all the experiences I’ve had. Not all of it has been great. There have definitely been lows but has been balanced by a lot more of good stuff. 

I believe we learn how to be adults (or people, really) by watching grown ups around us; our parents, grandparents, older siblings, aunts, uncles, even teachers and the religious folks in our lives. I was fortunate to have two good role models in my parents and being the youngest of three daughters, also my older sisters who were (and still are) strong, intelligent, loving, compassionate and thoughtful. I learned a lot from them. My parents taught by example how to treat others. I attended church services regularly and remember being especially moved by parables from the New Testament. These “stories” were guidelines on how to live life, not to be judgmental. Heck, even television had an influence on me and still does today.

Along the way I learned the difference between right and wrong. Lying is wrong and disrespectful. Treating other people badly for no other reason than your feelings of superiority-I am better than you—is horrible. (No one is better than anyone else.) I got educated about the unspeakable things people do to each other: wars, human trafficking, pedophilia, discrimination based on race, creed, religion, gender, sexual orientation, age, physical or mental disabilities. Repeat-no one is better than anyone else, period. Do we even remember the Golden Rule anymore let alone practice it?

Naïveté is not part of me. At seventy six, and not named Pollyanna, I know there are bad actors on the earth and always will be. I don’t fool myself into believing the end always justifies the means. That anything goes as long as there is a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. There are rules and guidelines to make it possible to live in society with people who think, feel, act and believe differently. Most rules or laws have been thoughtfully constructed to benefit and represent the vast majority of persons. It’s just wrong to ignore everything you’ve been taught-your morals, your principles, your ethics, your values, your honor in the name of what? A political party? A politician? Dare I suggest an authoritarian ideology?

Are we meant to only value certain persons? Fear is insidious and spreads faster than the measles. Fear is a great controller so fear is used to keep people in line and maintain control. FDR’s famous words, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”bring truer today. Fear is paralyzing and can keep you huddled under a blanket. If we don’t speak out when we see or experience injustice because we are afraid then we become part of the problem. Everyone needs a champion in their corner to speak out when bullies try to spread unfounded fear.

When black persons, Hispanics, LGBTQ persons, women, children, persons with disabilities, the homeless and so many more are wrongfully intimidated or worse, we need to be a witness. If we turn a blind eye to what is going on, we become complicit. Our complicity in the lawless acts happening right now in this country is uneducated-at best. Very few, save the rich of this country, are thriving today. There isn’t rampant lawlessness in our cities. Certainly none that requires a military intervention. No one should be deported without due process of law, or irrefutable evidence of criminal activity. 

Everything is too expensive. Oh, not jewels or yachts or extravagant vacations (although they may cost more but the uber rich don’t concern themselves with such trivia). Food, gasoline, medical care, housing, schooling, clothing—necessities for most of us—have become burdensome. Personally, I live in terror that Social Security and Medicare will go away and I will live out the rest of my life on the street, homeless.

In my family, we are honored to have bi-racial members, Hispanic members, LGBTQ members. However this is what they may face in the future. Illegal deportation, being denied the right to marry whomever they wish. Exclusion simply because of their skin color. An end of special education for special-needs kids. My grandchildren, my son in law, my great niece, my husband’s niece; all people I love and would never turn a blind eye to, not ever, now have to worry about DEI. DEI has a face. Illegal deportation has a face. These are real living, breathing people. At some point, if it hasn’t already, DEI could adversely effect someone in your family. This is not a political issue. It’s a humanitarian one.

Below are the kindergarten school pictures of my 5 year old grandsons. They are on the autistic spectrum and have attended a special school since they were two years old. This school has enabled them to enroll in public kindergarten this year. But their parents worry because they fit The Profile. They could be rounded up for deportation even though they were born here and are only 5 years old. Their father and grandfather were born here. Their father is a tattoo artist and has lots of tattoos. He fits the profile. Neither man presents a threat to anyone or anything. But look at the pictures and then decide with everything else their wonderful parents have to worry about, should they need to worry about these boys being detained somewhere. Without their parents and no understanding of why it is happening to them. Then remember this is the land of the FREE.

I asked my husband at lunch today to think of something he takes for granted. His first two answers were a bit of over-thinking: plumbing and electricity. Then he went on to rhapsodize about how in awe he was that the walls held electricity and water at the flick of a switch or turn of a faucet. I told him I meant something of the more mundane variety. My take-for-granted thing was television. I honestly don’t think about it one way or the other. I just assume it will be there as it has always been; good, bad and often boring. I don’t care unless one of my favorite shows gets canceled or we are forced to wait for a “new season”. So, I’m going to ask you to think of something you may take for granted. So think about it… I’ll give you a minute… Take your time… Okay, got it?

Now I need you to think of your favorite restaurant-either walk in or drive thru. Think about the last time you were in a local park in spring, the botanical gardens, an amusement park, a ballpark, a football stadium, a soccer stadium or any athletic venue. How was your last vacation? After a long day seeing the sights, shopping or riding the rides how was your room when you returned? Bed remade? Bathroom clean and everything refreshed? Are your roads repaired, golf courses maintained, company offices cleaned each night so you can work in a clean environment? Are your grocery store shelves always restocked and the Produce Section full of any vegetable or fruit you desire?

I’m going to assume the answer to most of those scenarios (if not all) is YES. However, we don’t think about it. We take it for granted. We take those who perform those tasks for granted.We thoroughly enjoy the pristine conditions of the parks; the beautiful flowers, perfectly trimmed trees and shrubs. We don’t think how nice it is to come back to a clean room after a long day vacationing just being able to flop on the remade bed and rest before going out to dinner. The food in the restaurant is wonderful, the service impeccable. Those rounds of golf, sets of tennis and pickleball surely only required your focus on the game rather than the surroundings. Same with those bike trails being maintained so you can just enjoy your ride.

Have noticed slower service in your favorite restaurant lately? Or that the food, while still good, may taste a bit different than you are used to? Is the home you are having built or renovated taking longer to start, much less, finish? Is the roof damaged during the last hail storm taking what feels like forever to be replaced until long after the storm did the damage (ours took almost a year). Are the side and main streets or highways taking forever to repair after winter’s multiplying potholes? While it Might be due in part to global warming (more natural disasters–fires, floods, tornadoes) or the beloved tariff wars, more than likely it’s due to the ridiculous deportation agenda of this administration.

Believe me when I say rounding up drug dealers, human traffickers, pimps and cartel members is good with me. I’d like to them all to be gone; the bad guys whoever they are, wherever they may be should not be allowed in this country. But I think a few things should have been in place BEFORE the current mass round ups.

First, this administration promised this “cleansing of bad people from  South America” in 2016, nine years ago. However, during the intervening time, at least four years of which were under the current president, some research should have been done. Law enforcement should have been contacted on a federal, state and local level to ascertain who these criminals were and where they might be found. Surely they must be on some list or have arrest records or have been reported to some agency within the government somewhere, yeah? Maybe someone should have been keeping track of them for an occasion just like we have now. Rounding up innocent persons because they match a vague or discriminatory profile is inefficient, at best and costly, at worst. So what have these nitwits been doing all this time? Wasting it, apparently.

I don’t know about you but I can’t imagine a drug kingpin, cartel drug lord or human trafficker working in produce fields, or as a busboy, waiter, dishwasher or cook in any fine dining restaurant—much less fast food. Can’t imagine them mowing at a golf course, planting flowers, manicuring shrubs and bushes. Can’t see them on a hot day replacing roof shingles or on a road spreading hot tar. Only getting paid minimum wage for their labors, working long hours with no vacation, no health plan and no cushy house to go to at the end of a long day. I’ve always imagine these criminals as being fairly wealthy, haven’t you? So why would they stoop to menial labor for low pay? I just can’t wrap my head around that.

All kinds of people come to this country for all kinds of different reasons. They always have and I, for one, hope they always do. There are over 160 different languages spoken in Aurora, Colorado—160! Aurora has a vibrant, fascinating population. There are great ethnic restaurants and markets. Where would the whole country be without immigrants? My husband is an immigrant. I in no way mean to minimizing immigrant contributions. Immigrants don’t do jobs no one else wants to do (although they seem to do any job well and with a sense of pride). Immigrants have contributed and continue to contribute in a multitude of ways in a multitude of professions: doctors, scientists, nurses, law enforcement, teachers, care-givers, the military, construction, entertainment, retail, government and education, to name a very, very few areas our immigrants have had a positive impact on our society.

Immigrants come here for the same reasons the founding fathers came: religious freedom, political freedom, a better life for themselves and their families-present or future. They brought customs, beliefs, traditions and ideas that have enriched us all. Why should any person be denied today what generations before them were not. A chance for a better life, a path to citizenship. They deserve to be here. They deserve to thrive here, to raise their children here and give them the life we ALL want for our children. To be whatever they choose; to be happy, to be free from persecution and fear. How can anyone deny them those dreams? We must stop this massive round up of anyone who looks a certain way, opts to have body art or doesn’t speak the way we think everyone should speak. We have to stop sending anyone who dares to exercise the basic right of freedom of speech, the right of assembly, the right to express their dissatisfaction with the ways the world “back where they came from”. 

I hate what is happening in our country. I am angry that my “golden years” are being spent frustrated, worried and sickened by our current administration. So please, come and get me. I was born in Wyoming in 1949. I have a tattoo-two hearts entwined on my left breast over my heart. They are faded now but still a tattoo. I’m arthritic, asthmatic, on heart meds., probably type 2 diabetic, have poor hearing and eye-sight. I’m just the kind of person ICE and HSI feel they can bully, ambush and push around. Because obviously going after real criminals is just too time consuming.

Starting in January it may be just a niggling buzz in the back of your mind—income taxes. By February the buzz starts getting a bit louder but not loud enough to do anything thereby shutting down that buzzing through action. In March it is less a buzz than a bellow for immediate action. So you start gathering receipts or anything else pertaining to filing your income tax return. Hopefully by April 1st you will be ready to start filling out the forms so your return will meet the filing deadline of April 15th.

Most of us don’t like doing our taxes. It can be complicated, confusing and time consuming. The richest among us have accountants who do their taxes and the rich-rich don’t even see the forms, don’t spend hours with a calculator manipulating the numbers or one second researching what deductions they may be entitled to. Frankly, they don’t worry about their taxes, bless their hearts. But it shows the complete disconnect in this country between the haves and have-nots.

The richest complain bitterly about how much they may have to pay. They complain about how unfair they are being treated. So they hire accountants. Professionals who can find an obscure loophole in a pile of elephant manure if it will cut tax liability. And not only do they find it but they take great gratification in doing so. Cheers for lower taxes, huh?

On the other hand, real people pay their taxes; pay into Social Security  when they have a job where they get issued a W2 in January. While we may grumble (obviously), we know part of the privilege of getting to live in this beautiful country is paying our fair share. And we do. Is it equally prorated? Do the lower and middle class pay more? Sure because we don’t have the ability to get our taxes done by expensive accountants who know how to game the system. Accountants who know which loopholes will result in less tax liability. Is it fair? Absolutely F***in’ not. But we honor our responsibility to the country. So what don’t the rich understand, hmm?

There are children that go hungry in the richest nation on the planet. Kids that only eat regularly during the school year or when the food banks are full. Richest nation on earth.

There are children who don’t have access to computers or laptops (or WiFi) to do their schoolwork. Their families cannot afford to provide that kind of expensive tool. Richest nation on earth.

Food deserts where there is no grocery store for miles. If you don’t have access to a car, when you need to get your groceries you may have to take a bus (or two) to the closest grocery store which is sometimes 25+ minutes away. You shop for the week-perhaps two. You then have to wait for your bus home. You get back on your bus(es) and ride another 25+ minutes home. While you are traveling, you hope nothing melts or gets warm before you can get it home. Richest nation on earth.

Some seniors have to choose between eating or filling prescriptions. Between getting necessary surgery or living with the pain or life threatening consequences if you don’t get your medications . Choose getting needed hearing aids, dentures, wheelchairs, walkers or canes. Now, with the cuts to Medicare and Medicaid, this becomes a more serious concern for our senior citizens. Richest nation on earth.

Veterans who voluntarily enlisted to defend this country, return damaged physically or emotionally or both. Some struggle just making it day to day. They need assistance with mental and physical health, a place to live, a job to give their lives purpose. The families of serving veterans struggle to have food, a place to live they can afford and child care while they work. Cuts to Medicaid will devastate their lives. Richest nation on earth.

Children and adults with physical, emotional and developmental problems need special programs and services to navigate the world. They need to be able to thrive independently. The cuts to Medicaid (just one government program) will end their ability to be able to do that. Richest nation on earth.

But the rich don’t concern themselves with these trivial matters because why should they? After all, they live in the richest nation on earth. They have business and personal accountants who make sure they don’t need to worry about such things as being able to eat regularly, prescription costs, getting the best medical care available. They just plan those big, luxurious vacations. Spend time in their lavish vacation homes. Drive expensive cars to their grand homes in a gated neighborhood, et al and etc. Where else would you be in the richest nation on earth?

One could ponder, as one sometimes does, why someone who has so much wouldn’t want to realize their responsibility to a country that has allowed them to have so much. One would think they would willingly pay for the privilege of living in this beautiful country. To appreciate all this country has to offer; the richness of diversity, equity and inclusions. After all, how much money does one really need? Can’t take it with you. I mean you can always endow a college or university. Fund a wing in a hospital, build a new athletic field for your Alma Mater. But wouldn’t it be more fulfilling to actually See how your wealth could enrich people’s lives? Perhaps help eliminate food deserts ensuring every child has enough to eat so they continue to thrive. Be a philanthropist who makes sure children have the tools necessary to be successful in school. Instead of just another building with your name on it, fund research in medicine and science, climate change or renewable energy. Maybe the uber-wealthy could stop looking for ways to cut services for those who have less just so the rich can continue to keep more. Richest nation on earth? Maybe those fortunate rich of the richest nation on earth need to be more mindful of the needs of others. Need to be more grateful for all they have. And feel the pride of having a hand in helping the other people of the richest nation on earth, thrive.

Patrick Henry famously said, “…United we stand, divided we fall.” The same sentiment has been paraphrased and used many times by Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill, to name two. If you hold a single twig it can easily be broken in half with little effort but when joined by several twigs, they cannot be broken as easily, if at all.

Now is the time to join together. It must not matter what your age, race, ideologies, religious beliefs, ethnicity, sexuality, education or wealth status are. What is being done by the Republicans (yep, I’m naming the perpetrators-in my opinion) to keep the favor of a sociopathic, pathological, narcissistic, under-educated, greedy pretender to the throne is beyond my comprehension.

Now is the time to clasp hands and stand strong against those who desire to acquire wealth and power (in my opinion). In doing so, they show no consideration to the people of this country. Seem to have no second thought about our seniors, our veterans, our children, our LGBTQ, our disabled, our sick, businesses, education, medical research, technology, the economy. There isn’t a corner that will not be affected. So if you think you or anyone in your family won’t be touched in some way, you are wrong.

Now is the time to put aside everything else and stand together. This country must have a two party political system. We need checks and balances. We must maintain a fair and impartial judicial system. We must be moral, ethical, responsible, compassionate. When the well-being of all is considered, our society is stronger,  healthier and everyone prospers, not just the few.

Stand together. Stand united. There will always be issues that we disagree about, concerns we don’t see eye to eye on, areas of discord but there are many things that go beyond political ambition. We need to find our common humanity and be concerned with the welfare of others by joining together to become stronger, unable to be broken by those who want only to serve themselves.

We must do it before they come for you, before your family is irrevocably damaged and no one is left to stand up and be strong, for you.

Imagine a 5’ tall, grayish-haired woman with a snazzy turquoise cane (you know, the kind with the little foot on the bottom) and she’s leaning heavily on that cane for support. That would be me. I’m 75 years and 339 days old. For some reason I feel so much older than that, especially lately. I have arthritic knees and spine and hands and I can promise you this isn’t how I envisioned my final years.

My parents were born (father-1908, mother-1915) at a time in our history when things like one’s wealth weren’t discussed. It was considered

vulgar. Don’t get the wrong idea, my parents were not high society, just civilized human beings. They married in 1938. Social security was brand new to these newlyweds. They went on to have three daughters. My father served in WWII, lost one of his three brothers to the war, was a sports broadcaster on a local radio station for many years and then sold life insurance until he retired at 65. My mother kept our home humming, raised my sisters and me, nursed my father through broken bones from skiing, multiple ulcer surgeries, prostate cancer and shared a devoted love with my Dad that was the envy of all who knew them. They were good people. They didn’t, however, teach my sisters or me about money. In those days, the men made the money and paid all the bills and their wives raised the children, organized and ran the household.

When I turned eighteen and went away to college, my father handed me a checkbook with a balance of $50 and told me that was my “allowance” for the month. He gave me no instructions on how a checkbook worked, how to balance a checkbook and if you didn’t balance it, you could be overdrawn at month’s end. (I didn’t even know what overdrawn meant.) The bank let my parents know when I was overdrawn then I would get that angry long distance call, you know the one. Not only was I overdrawn but they had to pay for that call, too. Oops!

My first job (at a bank no less), I was paid $1.85/hour. WOW! So, let’s see, $1.85 x 40 hours = $74/week; $74.00 x 4 weeks = $296.00 a month. ($148/every two weeks if you got paid bi-monthly.) I was rich! Imagine my surprise when my first paycheck was only $114.00! I was planning on $148.00. Where was my $34.00? (No one told me about federal income taxes or social security. I didn’t know what they even were or what they were for.) Then I got my second paycheck and it was the same as the first one, $34.00 short—again. If you are keeping score (and I was) that was $68.00. So I figured out I worked (@$1.85/hour) eighteen and a half hours a month for money I wasn’t getting but was going to get when I retired in, um, 45 years. That seemed like a very long time. I didn’t give it a second thought because naively I thought it would be there for me. I believed I needn’t worry because my government was keeping it safe for me. And so for the rest of my working life, each and every month, I paid into social security, faithfully.

I trusted my social security would be there for me and for awhile it was. When I wasn’t as dependent on it in my 60s, it was there. Now, when I do depend on it, when my husband and I both depend on it, it is in jeopardy. Now when we have some weighty medical concerns, Medicare is apparently in jeopardy, too. Initially when I was eligible to get Medicare, I couldn’t find a doctor to take me. Ten years ago, many doctors/medical practices wouldn’t accept you as a patient if you were only covered by Medicare. Allegedly it didn’t completely compensate for the full medical services rendered. But, thankfully, we found medical care and doctors we both trust who accepted Medicare patients. I don’t know what we will do if we have to give it up. We can’t pay for medical insurance, we don’t have the money. We won’t be able to pay for food or medications or gasoline but then again, we won’t have a car. We won’t be able to pay for electricity or water or basic home maintenance. Or anything at all, really.

Social Security and Medicare are misnamed. Security is defined as, “something that secures or makes safe; protection”. Makes safe, something I feel far from being right now. And at seventy five, almost seventy six, the last thing I want to feel is unsafe. Care is defined as, “the provision of what is needed for the well-being or protection of a person”. Again at my age, at my husband’s age, we have to depend on others to help care for us, as much as we wish it weren’t so. I think we all wish we could care for ourselves but our bodies have a different plan.

If I could go back in time and change my world to accept that I had aspirations to become an architect or an engineer, then I wouldn’t have been summarily denied the opportunity. I could have dreamed bigger than becoming a nurse or a teacher. While there is nothing wrong with those careers, it wasn’t me. Instead I spent my life doing clerical work that paid my bills but was unfulfilling. My husband has been self-employed for most his life. Neither of us had retirement plans. We were happy to just live day to day and pay our own way in life. Was that not very smart? Sure, but at my 76 and my husband’s almost 71, what can we do to change that now? We paid in for over fifty years, faithfully. They are going to take all this money for waste, abuse, et al. But where is the money going to come from to house and care for the millions of seniors this will irreparably harm?

So picture that little old woman (and her little old husband) standing in front of you asking “What do we do now? What can we do to stop this from happening?” Please help us, please.

As preface, my husband and I haven’t had to deal with a puppy for almost nine years. Needless to say, we have forgotten a lot. I mean A LOT! Add to that the last golden-doodle puppy we had had a completely different personality than this one. She was calm (well, calmer), obedient (after a very brief honeymoon period) and she learned very quickly. I think it was her poodle side. She took to crate training very well which sort of set the tone for everything that came afterwards. And she was a good sport letting me dress her in costumes every Halloween, even if only for time enough to take pictures. She was house trained within ten days, sleeping through the night almost immediately, didn’t jump on the dinner table or people. Was a good car dog except when she saw other dogs which would set her off and she’d bark really, really loud. We called her our EWDS-Early Warning Delivery System because she barked for every mailman, UPS and FedEx delivery before they even got to the front door. And if someone came into the house, she would bark until she decided they were all right to be there. She was a much better judge of people than we are.

The previous puppy to the doodle was a golden retriever. She was adorable. I told her every day—at least 200 times—that it was a good thing she was so cute because otherwise she might have to hit the road. She chewed everything: dining table legs, chair legs, carpeting, rugs, clothing (she had an utter obsession with shirt/coat sleeves and would grab the cuff of your shirt as you walked by causing whatever you might be carrying to fly out of your hand splattering anything within 10 feet), the seat belts in the car and no toy lasted longer than 50 seconds. After the first year I remember asking anyone we saw with a golden retriever when they stopped being puppy-ish. I’d audibly groan when the answer was, “by the time they’re two or three”. We had to replace so much stuff the first few years, the least of which was toys. She didn’t mind riding in the car but it wasn’t her favorite thing. More than once she got carsick.

Our current goldendoodle puppy is more golden retriever than poodle. No toy lasts longer than 15 minutes. We’ve stopped getting new ones. We had almost all of our first doodle’s toys because she took such good care of them. She would play with them but only play; she never chewed them to bits. Our current doodle has destroyed all of the old toys and all the new ones we’ve given her. Her toys now consist of hard chew-type toys that are made for aggressive chewers. She is potty trained But that was a chore because she learned to use a litter box as a newborn puppy. We just got her a jacket because it has been below freezing for days. She had her first real groom which was very short because of the matting from spaying and snow. She already chewed the collar and a decorative faux pocket in 10 seconds… 10 seconds! She has ruined kennel bed mattresses/pads, blankets, towels, the cover for the backseat of the car and tried to chew the back flap upholstery on my recliner. She even chewed the stone hearth on the fireplace. Sounded like she was sharpening her teeth!

The biggest problem, however, is she can’t seem to grasp the concept of Sundays. Sunday mornings aren’t made for routine. People sleep late on Sunday morning. The pace is much slower on Sunday. No need to rush to go somewhere or do anything. The day may be spent doing nothing at all or having an adventure. We may watch old TV shows or a movie. We may bake a cake or fix a nice dinner. But that doesn’t seem to deter her from pacing and barking because her usual routine/schedule isn’t being adhered to. She doesn’t get that the room getting lighter with the rising of the sun doesn’t signal “wake-y, wake-y” at 6:30 am. Makes for a very, very long day. Hey, golden-doodle… how about getting in touch with your poodle side, chill a little, relax.

I wouldn’t have her any other way even though she weighs 30 lbs. and thinks she is a lap dog. She climbs my body like an experienced mountain climber then lays across my chest, drooping the rest of her body over my lap where she soon falls asleep. Better than a throw to keep me warm on these frigid days and evenings. She is my constant companion whenever I cook, watching my every move (hoping for a tidbit falling within reach of her lightening pounce). She decided early on that I was her person and while we argue like many teenage girls and their moms, we always kiss and make up. I love her so very much but boy am I tired 🥱!

I am weeping. I am watching President Jimmy Carter’s funeral. He may not have been recognized as the good leader he certainly was, and that is a tragedy, for he quietly accomplished a lot. It would enrich you personally to look it up. I always thought his life after the presidency was his amazing legacy but his many accomplishments were life changing. He was a man who lived his faith every day of his life. He was and is greatly loved and respected, deservedly so. I don’t believe we will ever see anyone like him again.

In the midst of watching Democrats and Republicans eulogize him, two the sons of a former Republican president and Democratic vice president, I found some pity for the new president-elect. Pity because he will never hear honest words of praise for his accomplishments, if he has any that don’t only enrich him (and his other billionaire supporters) personally.

This opened up thoughts about All that he, the president-elect will never experience. He can lie to himself, and others, that he is the biggest and the best and it may never have been as great for anyone else as it was/is for him. All we can hope for is that somewhere, in a quiet moment of rare clarity, he may acknowledged the real truth. Because I feel “punishment” for the chaos he brought and will no doubt continue to bring to this country we love, will come from what he will never know.

He will never know:

The pride of grandchildren and great-grandchildren that their grandpa (however I imagine they must call him Grandfather) was once the President of the United States. For the truth of who and what he did and said and “tweeted” will be public knowledge. It will be taught in school and written in history books. It will be spread by classmates, there will be no hiding from it. And while the grandfather may tell them he was victimized by too many people to even itemize and the crooked media, when you hear the same story over and over again, even the most loyal begin to question, if not doubt, “the real truth”.

He will never know:

Being loved or even liked just for himself. For being a good human being. For being a good man who cared more for his fellow human beings, country or anyone other than himself. Who strived to make the country and the world a better place than when he took office. Even when given a second chance.

He will never know:

Having the respect of colleagues, peers and friends. Inducing fear is not respect. I believe those who demand fear rather than respect do so out of their own insecurities. Afraid someone may see behind the green curtain only to discover the small, insignificant being just praying no one will see who they really are. A small minded, under-educated, unqualified person who has to bully and spew vitriol to keep anyone who might discover the truth away; as far away as possible from the facts.

He will never know:

Even a positive spin in the history of his presidency(s) unless I am completely misreading his pre-inauguration rantings about Panama, Greenland, Gulf of Mexico, etc. We usually only get one chance to make a good first impression but this man is getting at least another chance to correct mistakes of his past. But he’ll never know the power of redemption because he’s always above it all.

Finally, when the time comes for a national funeral for him, he won’t experience the genuine love, respect or honest accolades for a job well-done that former presidents get. The crowds won’t be the biggest ever. He won’t be compared to Lincoln or M.L. King. He won’t be eulogized by former presidents long dead. World leaders might “tweet” out condolences to his family. He won’t have even a week of memorials. No long lines of mourners while he lies in state regardless of what he may tell himself. He’ll only be a footnote to a dark time in United States history.

For these reasons, and many more, he is pathetic and what he will never know, a true reason for pity.

     I’ll be honest 2024 hasn’t been my favorite year. Not even in my Top Ten, or maybe Top Twenty. We finally got the damage caused by a hail storm of over a year ago finished up. Last thing was getting the south wall of the house repainted because of hail caused damage to the paint and the trim. The painter we hired to do the job had done some house painting for us before. We thought he did a pretty good job but what I didn’t think about was he was much younger then and had guys who worked with him. He’s working alone now so a job that should have taken at most five days took three weeks. He and my husband bonded the first day so he felt very comfortable coming in to use our “restroom” several times a day. He wanted to put his lunch in our fridge. He taunted our dog who he insisted was named Truvie. The wall and trim looks nice but it was a very, very long three weeks.

     Both the dishwasher and refrigerator croaked completing the circle of major appliance replacements. Washer/dryer finally gave it up late last year. I was forced to babysit the old pair because unless the washer was watched, it didn’t fill. I would think it was done only to find when I went downstairs to put the clothes in the dryer they weren’t even washed yet. We replaced them with a washer/dryer combo you put the clothes in and walk away for two hours then go get your clean, dry clothes. Now we can only hope these appliances will outlive us. Fingers crossed.

     We’ve both had health issues that thankfully weren’t life threatening but were definitely annoying, time-consuming and not all covered by Medicare. I got my second round of cortisone injections in my knees and while I got some relief it was short lived so I was referred to University Hospital for gel injections which I had the end of June. Mo has a horrible disease which is circulation-related which affects his shins. They will heal but will take some time. Can you say compression socks?

     In June, on a perfectly normal day, we got up as usual in the morning but thought our adorable Trudie wasn’t acting quite herself. On advice of her vet, we took her to a veterinarian emergency hospital. One minute she was my little Boo and the next she was gone. A cancerous tumor in her abdomen had ruptured and there was no hope, only her prolonged agony. So we did what we knew we had to because she was in so much pain. We miss her every day. Every single day.

     In July we threw ourselves into the presidential election when Kamala Harris was asked to replace President Biden. We both found a reason to feel hopeful and positive about life again. Surely a convicted felon wouldn’t win, couldn’t win, could he? Things looked up. At least for four months. Then I, like so many other women, got those hopes dashed—again. I’m disappointed to realize so many people would prefer being represented on the world stage by a under-qualified, misogynistic, sociopathic, narcissistic, pathological, lying con man than a qualified, intelligent, honest, compassionate, thoughtful woman who genuinely cares about the population of this country and wanted to work on their concerns. Wanted to try to make things better. So in November, again I lost all hope for a better future for this nation of ours. A new maturity. A more enlightened view of women, in general.

     The new president has an opportunity few of us ever have. He has Do-Over. He can fix stuff he had a hand in screwing up. He can be better, not bitter. He can move forward, not dwell in the past or over perceived grievances. He can change his profile in the history of this country. In the history of its good leaders versus the bad ones. And while he may have won the election there were lots of people who voted for his opponent. Others who believed his opponent should win but allowed outside pressures to keep them from voting with their hearts and brains. Not everyone thinks he is the cat’s pajamas. I probably won’t live to see a woman become president and, for that, I’ll always be sad. I thought we were a more mature, more enlightened nation but apparently we are not.

     Our granddaughter, who is beyond amazing, fell head first into a drainage ditch and broke every bone in her face and nose. Concussion and cuts and bruises were the least of her head injuries. She is a nurse in a pediatric oncology wing of her hospital and youngest floating charge nurse. Because there have been an unusually large amount of children being admitted with cancer, she was back at work a few days after the accident. In pain but working nonetheless. That’s how dedicated she is. She’ll be 26 in February.

     Our one bright spot is our new puppy, Cocoa Bean. It’s a long story how she came to us but we just feel blessed she did. She’s more often a cocoaNut. We have to keep reminding ourselves she still a puppy when she gets zoomies or chews everything she isn’t supposed to but she’s sweet and cute and smart and has filled a hole in our hearts for which we will be eternally grateful.

     So I bid farewell to 2024. Good-bye and I pray this will be a small memory for me going forward. I have no expectations for 2025. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised, that would be nice. I guess I’ll look forward to getting some projects done, getting Cocoa Bean trained. Figuring her out, figuring us out as her parents. I’m planting some tulips this spring and I’ll have faith they’ll grow and bloom. Maybe I’ll find someone to cut my hair and I’ll have a new look in my old age.

     Three incidences have caught my attention recently. I’m going to tell you about each because I wonder if they strike you in the same way they did me.

     I’ll give you the background of the first and ask that you hold on to it until the end of this rambling. My husband is sick. At first we thought it was just allergies because it was just a runny nose and cough. He didn’t hurt and have a temperature (reference to a commercial of many, many, many years ago.) The cough and runny nose got worse at night. It Is allergy season after all; the wind has been blowing more than usual and daytime temperatures continue to go up and down weekly. He’s still doesn’t have a temperature. We have ruled out COVID, RSV and flu. So, it is more than likely just a cold. We also ruled in “just a cold” because I have developed symptoms as well. Bugger… We do everything together (including this, it seems) although my husband has gone alone to the grocery store a couple of times to pick up last minute items. He also went out to lunch with a friend. Three days later his symptoms started. Connection? Hmmm… so now hold on to the beginning of this scenario until the end.

     Second incidences came when we were watching television. The first happened when we were watching a late night talk show. The guests were three cast members of a current Broadway show, two men and a woman. The host introduced them (males first, female last) then they walked out together. The host hugged the first man, shook hands with the second one and gave one of those weak handshakes to the female who admittedly was a somewhat large woman and she was wearing heels. What was notable to me was the host didn’t introduce the female first then the men and he didn’t offer to help the woman up the couple of stairs to the platform where his desk and they were expected to sit. Now maybe the female guest told the host she wouldn’t need help up the stairs but he didn’t even offer his hand. (Neither did her co-stars, for that matter.) Is chivalry completely dead? Am I nuts or was he (they) wrong. Doesn’t etiquette require introducing the  woman first? Have we come so far that treating people with respect has gone completely awry? Do we not hold doors, chairs or offer a helping hand anymore? What is wrong with us? Anyway, the whole thing rubbed me the wrong way.

     Third moment came during one of my favorite American shows, Bosch. I’m not going into the plot or story line of this particular episode—no spoilers. It’s enough to say Harry, main character Harry Bosch, has to get on a helicopter to search for his daughter. His female co-star is going with him. They both walk up to the copter, rotors whirling and open the door. I thought he was going to get in first and slide over. Nope. He opened the door, helped his co-star in, shut the door and walked around to the other side of the plane. A gentleman. Didn’t make her slide over, didn’t leave her to struggle with the door alone. He helped her in, first! That’s my Harry. So civility isn’t completely dead, yet. At least on TV anyway. Even so we don’t see people acting in a civilized manner as often as we should. Maybe if we did more people would realize it is the proper way to behave.

     Now back to my first moment. We don’t know, and probably won’t, where or how we got our colds. Mo definitely was exposed first and brought it home to me. Was his friend sick when they met for lunch? Was a delivery person, waiter at a restaurant, someone at the grocery store or doctor’s office sick? Did they know they were sick, suspect they were or did they just not care? RSV presents as a cold but it can lead to COPD or even congestive heart failure which can prove fatal. What does this say about our society when people who are sick feel they have no alternative but to go to work sick. When “missing out” on a social engagement means more than not exposing a family member or friend to whatever illness is percolating in your body. For years we had people come to our home for consultations with my husband. They often came sick but always claimed it was just allergies. I had more sick down time with those “allergies”. It was difficult because we didn’t have health insurance at the time. We had to get educated on all the OTC meds so we could “doctor” ourselves. I’m sure that’s why I got pneumonia with a partial lung collapse.

     Anyway, always try to show respect for others. Be kind to others. Be mindful of others. We used to be taught manners; at the least we should know what manners are. Use them because when you don’t, the bad impression left behind is yours. If you are sick or even think you might be, stay home. I know I couldn’t live with myself if I was responsible for someone getting sick, or worse, dying because I just couldn’t miss out. A cold is still just a cold but it can make you feel miserable. I don’t think misery really loves company as much as the miserable want company to commiserate with them about their misery. Did I say that right? Get boosted, get vaccinated, drink plenty of fluids, rest but most importantly, keep that sense of humor, it’s critical (Thanks Mr. Mom).

Yesterday the local news station did a story about a single Mom with four children whose home was sold out from under her by her HOA. For those who don’t know what an HOA is, it is an acronym for Home Owners Association. HOAs are formed by housing developments to maintain the integrity of the development through covenants and monthly dues. The dues can be $100-500+/month depending on the development. A new homeowner usually signs and gets a copy of the covenants with the mortgage paperwork at closing when they buy a house. The covenants cover things like acceptable house colors, landscaping requirements, trash storage, number of cars per household, improvements and/or additions, etc. While it is a good thing to set a standard that will benefit everyone who lives in the housing development, sometimes the HOA board takes their authority too far. This woman had left her empty trash can at the curb and did have a couple of landscaping violations that resulted in fines that accrue if unpaid by a certain time. As a busy single Mom, she let things go and the fines grew to an unmanageable size. According to the woman, the HOA didn’t let her know how dire things were until they sold her home out from under her, even though she was continuing to make her mortgage payments. Friends and family raised money to satisfy her fines but the HOA didn’t budge and still sold her home. The person who bought her home, thankfully, is renting it back to her then even offered to sell her home back to her but they have since reneged on that offer.

My heart broke for this woman. She doesn’t know what she is going to do. We live in a development with an HOA but it is a voluntary one because a previous HOA president allegedly embezzled funds. Because of the ensuing lawsuit, our HOA was dissolved and while a board still exists, they cannot require monthly dues, only request a monthly voluntarily contribution. They did request we use a specific trash company to limit the number of different trash trucks driving through the development but that didn’t work because the “desired” company proved to be quite pricey. We had an issue with a neighbor and when we called to get help were told there was “nothing they could do” even though they had other complaints about that particular homeowner. The HOA still has board members walk through the neighborhoods looking for violations of the covenants but they really have no authority to enforce compliance other than a sternly worded letter. We don’t contribute because they didn’t help with our difficult neighbor. They do put out a newsletter but it’s usual late and not very informative.

My final thought about this story was why would Any HOA want to create another homeless family? Homelessness is a scar on too many cities. You can’t drive around anywhere in our area and not see homeless encampments. I can’t convince myself anyone would want to be homeless, living wherever they can find a space. Imagine not being able to bathe every day or brush your teeth. Not having a soft, warm bed to sleep in. Not eating regularly. Not having clean clothes, a warm coat in winter, good shoes and socks. Not feeling safe, ever. Think about paring down your belongings to a couple of trash bags. Sometimes homelessness is a choice because of mental health or addiction problems but too many times, it’s just not. There but for the grace of God, go I. If you think a neighbor or friend is struggling or needs help, reach out. Let us all be more mindful of the needs of others and ever grateful for all that we have.

What struck me about this single Mom’s story was why didn’t any of her neighbors help her out before it got so dire? No one seems inclined to help their neighbor anymore. I wondered why a neighbor couldn’t have dragged her trash can up to her garage for her? I don’t know what her landscaping issues were, the story didn’t elaborate. I couldn’t help but wonder why a neighbor didn’t offer to mow her grass, maybe water the plants for her. The story showed where she lives and it looked like a very nice area. Where are her neighbors who could have noticed she was struggling and offered to help? As seniors with mobility issues, there have been many times when we could have used help. Like last year when my husband was experiencing extreme bouts of vertigo or when my arthritic knees are painful just to walk to the mailbox. Our front yard suffered until we hired a lawn service for a yard 12’ x 9’, very small but $$. Fortunately, recently we found a “handyman” service that isn’t too expensive. In the last few months we’ve gotten work done that definitely would have resulted in citations and fines from an HOA with authority. Don’t misunderstand, we have nice neighbors now and we’re sure if we were desperate they would help. That wasn’t always the case. As a child, neighbors, friends and relatives would have helped, often times without being asked. Where are those people? Have we become so divided, afraid and angry that we can’t help each other?