Every year, on July the 4th, we celebrate the independence of this country, our country. We show our patriotic pride with parades, picnics, ball games and family gatherings which culminate in a traditional fireworks extravaganza. A fun time for all, right? A beautiful, dazzling display lighting up the night sky reigniting our hope for America.

As a child, I loved the 4th of July. My parents would buy a box of sparklers and maybe a few of those black cubes, that once ignited, would grow into a black, ashen snake. There was usually a fireworks show somewhere in town, a great end to a day of fun with family and friends. I remember looking forward to it almost as much as Christmas. A very a special day in part because my Father was a WWII veteran. He loved this country, served and sacrificed to protect it.

Every year we are told fireworks are illegal in Aurora—anything that explodes or leaves the ground. A few years ago the explosions were so loud it was reminiscent of the sound-track of every pirate or war movie ever made right in our neighborhood. We went outside to see if we could ascertain where the sound was coming from. The first thing we noticed when we opened the front door was the acrid smell of gunpowder. It was overwhelmingly strong. By the time we walked to the mailbox by the front walk, the smoke was so thick it reminded me of being in California, driving on the Pacific Coast Highway in a dense fog. Fog so thick you couldn’t see beyond the hood of your car. I would have to believe something that would create those conditions, probably explodes And leaves the ground, therefore, illegal. This year, the explosions were so loud the windows rattled and the house shook. Again, illegal and they started on June 24th with the Nuggets victory and are still ongoing.

The local television affiliates have news stories almost daily “reminding” the public that fireworks that explode or leave the ground are illegal. They could be accompanied by a fine for those found to be using exploding or sky bound fireworks. And every year, no matter how often you call designated reporting telephone numbers, nothing changes. Everyone is too busy to track down those shooting off the fireworks.

We’re advised to put our pets in a room without windows or in a closet during the fireworks. My dog would never understand being “isolated” from the rest of her pack that way. We got a tranquilizer from her vet to give her, Trazodone. Trazodone is prescribed for young children and teens who experience depression and anxiety.

“Children, teenagers, and young adults who take this antidepressant to treat depression or other mental illnesses may be more likely to become suicidal.”

“In dogs, the most common side effect of Trazodone is that it can make your dog a bit drowsy or sleepy. You need to monitor your dog to make sure they’re not sitting up high where they might misjudge their step, fall, and hurt themselves.”

So the answer to loud fireworks is to “drug” or isolate your pet. By that logic, if you have a baby or young child who is upset by the loud noises and flashing lights, you should isolate them by putting them in a closet or give them drugs to get them through the trauma. Don’t we have enough problems with drugs in our society without adding to it because we can’t control a few who flaunt the law?

What about war veterans who are traumatized by explosive sounds? Someone with PTSD? Unfortunately, too many of our veterans are homeless and living on the streets, a shameful commentary on how we treat those who sacrifice so much for us. Where should they go to avoid the trauma of harmless celebration? Where are the closets they can hide in? Where are the rooms without windows so to avoid exposure to the explosions and flashes of light? What about their dogs?

I believe we are being terrorized in the name of patriotic celebration. Terrorism is described as:

       “the state of fear and submission, intimidation or coercion by instilling fear”

Again, I say we are being terrorized. No one asks how we feel about the constant bangs, pops and booms. This year we were fortunate to have rain but drought conditions have been prevalent for a long time. It wouldn’t take much to start a brush fire or set a home on fire as it did in Parker. What about physical injuries cause by the mixture of inexperience and alcohol? We all can’t afford to pay hospital bills or for extensive property damage. Nor do I think we should have to worry about it. So why do we have to live in fear that something catastrophic might happen? Why are we forced to sequester ourselves because of the few inconsiderate law-breakers?

The police fireworks hot line personnel always ask if we know where the fireworks are being set off? At 74 years old, I’m not inclined to go out and look. Should I be expected to? I support law enforcement. I know they have a hard, dangerous job to do but if there is only lip service paid to arresting those who are shooting off explosive fireworks or those that leave the ground, why should anyone take the warnings against the illegal use of fireworks seriously?

My husband and I just got back from taking our dog to the vet. She developed what we believed might be a UTI. For the last almost four weeks, at night, when she would go outside to go potty, someone would set off something loud, somewhere, and she would stop. She would start trembling and be frantic to get back inside. The good news is it is not a simple UTI. The bad news is she has an infection of her bladder and if it doesn’t improve she will have to undergo further testing involving her kidneys. The vets see this often in dogs and have discerned it may be caused, in part, by stress. Stress in a pet, a pet! $300+ dollars later we came home with medication. She had to have an IV to replenish fluids. It isn’t about the cost. It’s about what she’s had to go through because of the stress!

This senseless, lack of consideration for others, needs to stop. Illegal means illegal! If you don’t enforce the law then the law has no meaning. It emboldens people to act lawlessly without regard for fellow citizens. We are a society that is already divided unlike ever before. The desires of the few outweigh, seem to outweigh, the rights of the many. We are suspicious of each other. We assume the worst and don’t entertain someone’s motivation for anything may be innocent or harmless.

My husband and I are committed to changing this campaign of terror. July the 4th is one day, ONE DAY, not one month. We don’t need amateurs to set off fireworks when the Rockies win or the Broncos or the Avalanche or the Rapids for weeks and weeks. We don’t need fireworks to mark Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year’s Eve spread over several days. The best firework displays I’ve ever seen are done by professionals. Toward that end, we are going to circulate petitions. We know there are many, many people who feel the same way we do. Everyone I have spoken to about this growing problem expresses the same sentiments and frustration with the situation. As citizens, we all have a responsibility to be mindful of others and act in the best interests of everyone. We vote. We pay our taxes. We all count.

     My husband just read me a story in the news about a House of Representatives member who said something that was lacking in… intelligence. I won’t say who nor will I categorize it as what it is, stupidity. Suffice to say, in an age where everything you say, everything you do becomes fodder for if nothing else, social media, better to keep your mouth shut than speak and prove you lack intelligence.

     It is easy to shake one’s head and wonder how someone so inept could hold public office. How they could then use their public platform to disparage, criticize, spread false information or flat-out lie is mind-boggling. Seems they think being a member of the government somehow elevates them to a belief that they Must know what they are talking about. Perhaps they might even be an Authority. What a dangerous belief to hold. Unlike night following day, being elected to serve in any government job does NOT guarantee that person is capable enough to hold the job. But the fault doesn’t totally lie with the under-educated boob who holds a position in government, it also lies with You! Your vote put them in office. 

     I’ll give you two passes so you can sidestep responsibility in electing some incompetent loser even if they managed to raise enough money to mount a campaign after meeting the requirements necessary to run. Your first pass is believing, no matter how naively, the person running, making all the right promises, will keep those promises once in office. Any political aspiration is expensive! Television ads, billboards, televised debates, t-shirts, bumper stickers and campaign buttons cost a lot and you cannot have a successful campaign without them. Too much of a politician’s time is spent just raising money; for the next campaign and for the party and for other national campaigns. So when the lobbyists come knocking with their hands out full of cash if you’ll only include their special project in your next bill, it’s hard to say no. Even if it is to the detriment of other pressing interests.

     The second pass will only work one time. You get one pass if you vote for someone based only on name/party recognition. You know the name because they’ve been in office forever and are up for re-election. Perhaps they are related to someone you know or your parents know. You went to school with them, their cousin or brother or aunt or wife. Or you bought all the family cars from their dealership, all your insurance or your home. But then you should ask yourself, “What do I really know about the candidate?” Do they share my morals, principles, my hopes for our country? Are they honest and trustworthy? Are they up to the job? Do they understand how government works, how laws work? Have they even read The Constitution or Bill of Rights? Do they understand their job description? Are they qualified for the job? Then you need to try to find the answers to those questions, before you fill out that ballot.  **

     Saying all politicians are alike, they all lie, speaks more about your antipathy than anything you think you know. It is beholden on each of us to know who we are voting for; to know the facts about community issues that need solving. An issue for a rural community may not be important to someone who lives in the city and vice versa but that shouldn’t dilute or negate either. The person who holds public office should be able to determine the importance of any issue and arrive at an equitable outcome.  It’s up to each of us to educate ourselves on the issues, but particularly the people who are asking to let them be responsible for making things work for everyone in the community. Honest, upright people. Patriotic people who love this country and put this country ahead of themselves. Ones “who are ever mindful of the needs of others and grateful for what they have”. Who don’t see public office as a way to line their own pockets instead of caring for the needs of the people who voted for them.

     The day of the under-educated voter should be over. Voting for the rich one or the one who has had the office for a decade or the one who just panders effectively must definitely be over. We have no one to blame but ourselves when crazy, irrational, unqualified persons get elected. We owe it to ourselves to get the best qualified, intelligent and capable representatives to be our voices. It’s more important than ever to raise your voice. Change is inevitable and if you want to be part of change in a positive way you need to get the most fitting people as your representative. But remember, once you use up your two free passes there won’t be anyone to blame but you if someone crazy manages to slip through. Complaining that you or your views are not being heard will be on you. It’s time to think, to do your homework. Don’t be left out of what promises to be a much brighter future.

**A pet peeve of mine**  I think if someone runs for public office, especially the top job, they should, at the very least, be able to pass a citizenship test. Or at least a test about American history, The Constitution, The Bill of Rights or basic Constitutional law. It could benefit their ability to govern effectively. Having a rudimentary understand of how government came to be and how things work just might come in handy!

Short, sweet and, hopefully, to the point. 2021 is finally coming to an end. While it’s been not one of my favorite years-not even in the top five, there are a couple of things that have come out of it that are positive and life affirming for me.

     First, it seemed to go pretty slowly, drag-y really. But the upside of that is my husband and I have gotten to spend more quality time together. In the recent past, time seemed to spin along like a Wyoming wind. Usually it felt as if we got up in the morning and two hours later we were heading back to bed. Busy, busy, busy! What happened to retiring and being foot loose and fancy free!?! But 2021 felt a bit slower somehow. Even though I’m sure it didn’t actually go any slower, I will forever be grateful that it felt that way. I had the opportunity to reflect, have quality conversations with my husband, and develop a game plan for moving forward into whatever future forward might be. Just being able to sit at night, watching some favorite show on TV with my family has been priceless.

     Secondly, on December 31, my husband I will end our twenty-eighth year together and begin our twenty-ninth (and they said it wouldn’t last 😉). We usually go out to dinner to some nice restaurant. In the past we went early in the evening to avoid the New Year’s Eve crowds. Then in 2020, COVID had just started to shut everything down. Restaurants being the first casualties, we ordered take out from a restaurant that was close by hoping the food would stay warm long enough to get it home. The night was freezing cold, if I remember correctly, around 20 degrees? Back then, no restaurant knew how to do take out. So when we went to pick our food up, we had to sign a receipt because paying online wasn’t a thing yet. While my husband signed, the restaurant person held the food in a plastic bag, in 20 degree cold. The salad was cold when we got it home but so were our entrees. Hey, it was still nice not to have to plan or cook something. Why didn’t we just warm it up while we ate the salads, you ask? Our oven broke right before Thanksgiving, we couldn’t. (Still waiting for our new oven. Next year! 🤞🏼)

     To my second affirmation. Even though the Omicron variant is raging right now, restaurants are open, servers are vaccinated and since we are fully vaccinated and boostered we felt comfortable going out for dinner for our anniversary this year. We went tonight, December 30th, instead of tomorrow because the forecast is for snow. (It’s worth noting this will be our first measurable snow of the season. Snow in the mountains, sure, but this new moisture will be a drop in the bucket to our continuing drought. As I write this, there is a horrendous grass fire destroying an estimated 600+ homes in Boulder county due, in large part, to dry conditions and tornado-like winds. Whole housing developments, gone in seconds. Too bad the predicted snow didn’t come a day earlier.) Anyway, we had wonderful dinner; we talked and laughed, reminisced and felt grateful to be out enjoying a terrific meal. Which brings me to what both my husband and I consider to be a positive omen for 2022. When the time came to pay for our wonderful meal, our waitress told us the bill was already paid by a group of people sitting near us. They didn’t know us, we don’t know them or why they would do such a thoughtful thing for us. We just looked at each other and teared up. Of course we thanked them as we left. They seemed kind of embarrassed by it all. We were at a loss for the right words to thank them for their kindness to us on our special night. Their generosity was simply overwhelming.

     It proves there is more that unites us than divides us. We are more alike than different. More loving than hateful. We want to help, we want to uplift each other more than inflict harm. We can disagree and not want to smash each other in the face. There’s more harmony than discord. Those kind people may never realize what a positive impression their gesture made. But we will never forget it. We will pay it forward if we can. May we, all of us, be always mindful of others and their needs.

     My house is, ah, disheveled? We have a locust tree in the backyard that, because locust aren’t indigenous to Colorado, gets it’s leaves late spring/early summer and loses those leaves after every other tree has been nude for weeks. Therefore, those Adorable little leaves gather all over the backyard And in the house. Last week I almost brought the leaf blower in to at least blow them into a little pile in the living room for Trudie to jump into. I’m only slightly kidding. After tag team vacuuming, we got rid of almost all of the little buggers and my husband figures one more small leaf blowing session in the back yard and we’ll be good until next fall. So, I’m grateful for vacuums and leaf blowers.

     This summer we cleaned for our home appraisals, two, that are required by HUD when you do a reverse mortgage. Basically they want decluttering, so that when the appraiser goes through the house they can take pictures to show all the usable square footage, how the house has been maintained and what improvements you’ve made. As anyone who’s sold a house and had an appraisal to assess value can tell you, appraisals are based on comparable sales in the area. The housing market here is obscene. Good for sellers, unfair to buyers, especially first time buyers. However to be fair, building costs (materials/labor-thank you pandemic) are through the roof. It costs  much more for a new build so existing properties piggy back on that. I digressed, so our house was cleaned and pressed, buffed and shined. First appraisal went like butter. Second seemed to as well. Then HUD insisted that our lovely guest room in the basement couldn’t be a bedroom. To that end we had to remove the bed so one of the appraisers could come back to the house to take a picture with the bed out of the room. That’s all. Now the bed is apart and scattered around the basement. It will take a couple of days to reassemble it and eventually the rest of the room. Out of sight, out of mind. Unfortunately, the basement is a bit messy, again. But, I’m grateful for the appraisals because it forced some decluttering that has been needed for awhile. (P.S. Our house isn’t worth what it appraised for but I’m grateful it did!)

      At the very, very beginning of the pandemic, when everyone was trying to figure out how things were going to work, we needed to get our puppy in for her annual physical. We called the vet office and were told, sort of unceremoniously, one of our vets had died a few months earlier. Not of COVID. He had retired and then died of something else. He was young-ish and we figured he must have had some underlying health problems. The issue is no one called to tell us. It was upsetting. Then because of pandemic protocols, we could only bring our puppy to the office; they would come get her, take her in, examine her and bring her back out. We couldn’t be with her. When we got home, the vet who owns the practice called with the results. The next annual exam, we got to go to the office but our dog was examined on the sidewalk outside the office (that is in a strip mall on a busy street next to a liquor store). A new vet came out, did a cursory exam, and hustled back inside. So one exam with a vet we never met and another exam with a vet who couldn’t really be bothered. We chose our vet initially (almost 20 years ago) because she had a small practice. We have been with her first with our Libby and now Trudie. We recently found out she sold the practice to a huge conglomerate that favors volume over quality. So when Trudie developed an ear infection, we had to either take her to yet another bad situation or find a new vet. Long story short, not only did we find a new, great veterinary clinic close to our house but a really sweet new vet. They swabbed her ears and found yeast and the vet did a “quick” exam and checked more than had been checked in two years. He explained everything, answered our questions and though he was running behind because of an emergency earlier, we never felt rushed. So, I’m grateful we found a great new vet who we know will take great care of our little boo.

     As cliched as it is, I’m grateful for my wonderful husband who cooks most nights because of my back and lately, my foot. Who puts up with my sad days. Who listens when I vent and will even watch Hallmark movies with me. He’s shared his children and grandchildren with me. He works hard, even when his own health issues are overwhelming. Right now he is smoking a boneless turkey breast for Thanksgiving because we have been without an oven for over a year. Later, he will help me make creamed onions. So, I’m grateful for the love of my life and not just today either.

     Today’s dinner won’t be perfect. We’re sort of making things work because we don’t have an oven. I’m making a green bean casserole in a sauce pan. We’re having microwave sweet potato casserole and frozen cheesecake for dessert. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I’ll be with my husband and my puppy. It would be nice to see the kids and grandkids but between no vaccinations and reticence to eat in restaurants or long distance travel, maybe next year? Mostly I hope we all become more aware of the needs of others. When we gather together take a moment to remember the thousands and thousands of people who won’t have a perfect or imperfect meal for Thanksgiving or the other 364 days in the year. “There but for the grace of God go I.” Homelessness can happen to any of us at any time. I think the last year has proven that to be true. We all need help sometimes so when you can, help. In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

     This pandemic will end. It may take another seven to ten months but, God willing, it will finally pass. That is:

  – if the unvaccinated get vaccinated and stop providing any variant with a fresh breeding ground in which to grow and mutate thus allowing reinfections. 

  -if the pharmaceutical companies develop vaccines for children and then parents allow vaccination for their vulnerable children. 

  -and if those who are already vaccinated get the booster shot. 

I know… a lot of IFs.

     Those who have been unfortunate enough to have gotten COVID and recover will heal. People will gather again, have weddings, baby showers, graduations and birthday parties. We’ll go to bars and movies and plays and concerts. We’ll cheer the school sports teams and professional ones. We’ll take vacations. We’ll go shopping in real brick and mortar stores. We’ll rediscover life after a worldwide pandemic.

     But how will we heal all the broken hearts? Hearts broken when family and friends got very sick. Hearts crushed by family and friends who died, over 700,000+ and counting just since January of 2020. The fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, grandmothers and grandfathers, aunts and uncles and cousins who won’t be at any more family gatherings or weddings or baby showers or births or christenings or high school graduations or parties for any occasion.

     Hearts broken by divisions caused because of mask mandates, refusal to vaccinate, lack of consideration for family and friends. How will hearts heal and how long will it take? Or will they heal? Is it yet a further price to pay on top of everything else?

     My husband and I watched a documentary last night, Memory Box: Echoes of 9/11 on MSNBC. I think it is worth seeing, particularly on the eve of the 20th anniversary of that horrible day. We all certainly remember where we were, what we were doing and what emotions the events evoked in each of us. I cried off and on for weeks; for those who died and the families of those who died. I cried for the devastation in New York and for the sense of security we all lost. I didn’t know anyone who died or had family or friends who died although one of the pilots on the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania was from Littleton, a suburb of Denver. I cried because horrible violence happened in my country. Happened in New York City, at our Pentagon and would have demolished the White House which is where the plane was heading when the brave passengers sacrificed their lives by interfering with the plan. I cried because suddenly uneducated or undereducated persons decided ALL Muslims were bad and responsible and should be eliminated. Distinctions just weren’t made that not all persons of middle Eastern heritage are terrorists. (Just like not all persons of Hispanic descent are drug dealers and rapist.) We had a guy drive his pick up truck through the neighborhood with an American flag on the driver’s side of the cab and a piece of fabric attached to the tailgate that said, in big red letters, “Death to All Ragheads”.  It upset me and made me angry. My husband is an Egyptian, after all. He is not, nor has he ever been, a terrorist. Nor are his brothers or sister or parents or anyone else in his family.

     Immediately post 9/11, the first notable thing was the absence of airplane noise because all planes were grounded. It was eerily quiet. People in general were friendlier and kinder. It hadn’t just happen to New Yorkers or the people at the Pentagon or the families of those on the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania. It happened to all of us living in America. It affected all of us in one way or another. We got angry or sad. We wanted revenge or to just go to bed and stay there until the threat was gone. We wanted to know why it happened and definitely who did it. Endless questions, few answers.

     It was one of the last times I remember our country working together for the common good. As we watched “Memory Box”, I was struck by how everyone pitched in and helped. No one cared about ethnicity, gender or race. It wasn’t political. There was no finger pointing at any political party or trying to place political blame and responsibility. This horrible act had happened to all of us, from sea to shining sea. From the mountains to the prairies. In cities and towns, to the oldest and the youngest of us. Our sense of being safe and secure would never be the same.

     I was proud to be an American. We proved we were strong, resilient and  could rise above any adversity. No terrorist could bring Americans to their knees. Instead, it brought us together as a nation. We forgot our petty differences, we smiled at each other. We were friendly. The United States of America was still a world leader. People from all the world over grieved with us. World leaders joined in supporting us while we circled the wagons.

         America has lost a lot of its stature on the world stage. Other nations don’t automatically look to the USA anymore. Everything is political or politically motivated. And politicians don’t care about the people they represent. They only care about lining their own pockets at the expense of just about everyone. Political office for profit. You may say, “Don’t be naive! It has always been that way!” But I don’t think so. My memory isn’t what it once was but I honestly don’t remember every blue-blasted thing being so—us against them. “Vaccinate, no way, no one can tell Me what to do. So what if I’m putting other people at risk, they probably won’t die because it isn’t as bad as they say it is. I don’t like wearing a mask. My kid is traumatized having to be without their friends and school and sports, etc.” I would think they’d be more traumatized having a parent who puts a political issue ahead of concern for their own child’s health. Does the kid really not want to wear a mask? Or are they just trying to appease an upset parent who rants about something that shouldn’t be political. Fast food restaurants require staff to wear uniforms, no employee complains. Doctors, nurses, dentists—uniforms. It helps to put the patient at ease. Business offices have dress codes. If you work there, you comply or face termination. We wear seatbelts, adhere to traffic signals, enroll our children in school. No one says, you can’t tell me what to do. We do it because it’s the right thing to do.

     Since my husband and I first got together we have seen home-grown terrorist devastation in the Oklahoma City bombing, Columbine High School mass shooting, 9/11, Aurora theater mass shooting, Florida, Las Vegas mass shootings, the Sandy Hook massacre, California mass shootings and too many more to itemize. Massive forest fires, hurricanes, floods and tornadoes. Buildings and bridges collapsing. I’m sad to say, while I don’t think I’m becoming unmoved by these events, I am never surprised by even more catastrophic bad news.

     After 9/11 I felt sure we would recover as a nation and rebuild. A lot has to change for me to feel the USA can come back from this political mayhem. There seems to be more that divides us than brings us together. For the life of me I don’t understand why so many people want to go back to a time when husbands could hit their wives with no consequences. When women worked outside the home only after their children were grown and then only in acceptable jobs like teacher, nurse or secretary. When children were expected to be seen but not heard. This country is full of diversity and we are richer for it. Men can raise their children and be effective at the office. Women have good ideas, constructive plans and innovative solutions in all disciplines. Young persons care about the environment and global warming, LGBTQ and racial injustice and the passion to effect chance. How sad if they are silenced. My knowledge of American history is woefully sparse. There are so many incredible persons of every ethnicity who have enriched our country in so many ways. I am just learning about them because their stories weren’t taught in school. It’s sad. Get in touch with me, I can tell you the names of documentaries, movies or books to read.

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow but I will pray all of us “Be ever mindful of the needs of others.” Pray for unity instead of division. Pray for more acceptance, faith and hope. Pray to be proud to be an American, again.

             Wear a mask and get vaccinated, it won’t kill you but if you don’t, it just might.

Chuck E. Cheese – 12/14/93

Ben Grant, 17

Colleen O’Conner, 17

Margaret Kohlberg, 50

Sylvia Crowell, 19

Columbine High School – 4/20/99

Matthew Kechter, 16

Daniel Mauser, 15

Daniel Rohrbough, 15 

 Dave Sanders, 47

Rachel Scott, 17

Isaiah Shoels, 18

John Tomlin, 16

Lauren Townsend, 18

Kyle Velasquez, 16

Cassie Bernall, 17

Steven Curnow, 14

Corey DePooter, 17

Kelly Fleming, 16

Platte Canyon High School – 9/27/06

Emily Keyes, 16                

Aurora theater shooting – 7/20/12

Jonathan Blunk, 26

AJ Boik, 18

Jesse Childress, 29

 Gordon Cowden, 51

Jessica Ghawi, 24

John Larimer, 27

Matt McQuinn, 27

Micayla Medek, 23

Veronica Moser-Sullivan, 6

Alex Sullivan, 27

Alexander C. Teves, 24

Rebecca Wingo, 31

Arapahoe High School shooting – 12/13/13

Claire Davis, 17         

Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood Shooting – 12/27/15

Garrett Swasey, 44 

Ke’Arre M. Stewart, 29

Jennifer Markovsky, 35  

Thornton Walmart Shooting – 11/1/17

Carlos Moreno, 66

Victor Vasquez, 26

Pamela Marques, 52  

STEM School Highlands Ranch Shooting – 5/17/19

Kendrick Castillo, 18     

King Soopers, Boulder Shooting – 3/22/21

Denny Strong, 20

Rikki Olds, 25

Tralona Bartowiak, 49

Suzanne Fountain, 59

Teri Lieker, 51 l

Eric Talley, 51

Jody Waters, 65

Kevin Mahoney, 61

Lynn Murray, 62

Neven Stanisic, 23

The dictionary defines a mass shooting as a single incident involving the shooting with one or more firearms of a number of people, but more than two and typically a large number, especially when the victims are random.

In the Platte Canyon, Arapahoe High School and STEM School Highlands Ranch shootings, more people would have died but the shooters were stopped. In the Platte Canyon shooting, the murderer raped Emily Keyes in front of her class then killed her. In the Arapahoe High School shooting, Claire Davis knew the student who brought guns to school. She tried to talk him down but he shot her. At the STEM school, two kids came with enough guns for multiple victims but Kendrick Castillo disarmed one of the kids but was fatally shot doing so.

In the Aurora Theatre shootings, most of the young men there with dates put themselves between the shooter and their girlfriends or wives, losing their own lives. Fifty eight others were wounded during the assault. While their physical wounds have healed, the emotional ones continue and are exacerbated every time another shooting occurs.

My husband was friends with the father of a Columbine student who died. They umpired girl’s softball games together. The devastation caused by his son’s death still is just as fresh twenty one years later.

The Chuckie E. Cheese shooting happened one block from my condo. I’d been out to dinner with friends and came home to police cars, ambulances and helicopters-all night long. The restaurant stayed empty for at least ten years and was finally divided into two stores. There have been many different tenants, no one succeeds for very long.

Look at the faces. These people are more than names on a memorial wall. More than names being read out at a candlelight vigil. They were someone’s son or daughter, sister or brother, mother or father or grandparent. They had lives and dreams and hopes for a future. Don’t look for common motives for these horrendous crimes because the reasons why don’t really matter, do they? If this moves you, write your representatives in Washington and insist they do something other than offering “thoughts and prayers”. The time has come for them to put life ahead of politics. Thank you.

    Words have gravity. Words can influence for the good. Words can incite or encourage the worst in anyone. I just saw a news reporter suggest the shooter in the most recent mass shooting incident in Boulder, Colorado “may have been radicalized” even though there has been no proof of that nor have the law enforcement authorities-local, state and federal-said so. This reporter was passing along Unfounded information for what looked to me like merely a ratings grab.

     When you pass along erroneous information to increase your ratings or to make yourself sound like you have inside information when you really don’t have all the facts is IRRESPONSIBLE! To imply someone is a terrorist without verified facts diminishes every person who is of a certain religion or ethic background. It puts a target on the back of anyone who worships a certain way or who has come to this country in search of a better life.

     I have a dog in this fight. My husband and his parents came to this country when he was an infant, almost 67 years ago. His father was a college professor at Colorado State University in the Veterinary School. If your vet graduated from CSU between 1959 and 1975, they probably had Dr. Ab for anatomy. He was highly respected by his peers and admired by his students. He loved this country and wanted his children to be raised here. I never got a chance to know him because he succumbed to cancer before my husband and I met. I know my life is diminished because I didn’t get the chance know him. I think his son is a lot like his father; kind, thoughtful, generous, intelligent, funny and someone who loves this country. Someone who never takes for granted the joys and beauty of his adopted country. The freedom he, his brothers and sister have been privileged to appreciate is a large part of who he and they are.

     Their story is not unique. There are thousands of people who came to this country for the self-same reasons. Unified by a desire to live a better life. To have their families live with opportunities they might not otherwise be fortunate enough to have.

     There is a saying and while I’m not a fan of it, it is appropriate for this situation. Don’t ASSUME because it makes an ASS of yoU and ME. When you hear or read “details” of any story, specifically initially, think before you repeat the story, check the facts. My husband has had to change his telephone number because of death threats during the Iran hostage crisis. He has been spit on, cursed at and called a rag head, sand N-word and other names I refuse to repeat. After 9-11, his son, before boarding a plane, (19 years old at the time) was searched and told it was because of his surname. He didn’t look Arab, he looked like a high school kid. If you retell “facts” before they are verified, you might be putting a target on the back of someone you don’t intend to. For every unverified fact there is a nut job who may feel justified “eliminating” the problem. Or there may be someone who has been waiting for their chance to act on an old grievance or perceived slight. Or someone who may just want their 15 minutes of fame.

     The shooter in Boulder is from Syria. He is 20 years old and has mental problems. He is not radicalized, at least there is no proof so far that he is, nor is he a jihadist or terrorist. He’s a loner who was bullied and ostracized because of where he is from. Instead of figuring out a label so to further reject him, maybe we should remember and pray for the victims. Pray for their families and friends, neighbors and co-workers, the entire Boulder community. Pray that crime investigators find the truth to build a comprehensive case and that law enforcement personnel stay safe. Criminals don’t deserve your energy. Mental illness must be brought out of the closet and into the light so that mentally ill persons can be treated. Not be ignored and allowed to get their hands on a weapon to act out their murderous delusions. Think.

Recently I saw a story on the news about a choral music director and the challenge of continuing to work with his students during this epidemic. He told about the difficulties teaching when the students must sing with masks and maintain social distances. However, the music I heard from these students under the guidance of this wonderful, dedicated teacher was nothing short of heavenly. The students, during their part of the  interview, “ sang” the praises of this wonderful educator. They obviously adore him. The students were black, white, Hispanic and Asian. The teacher was black. A sweet dedicated man with a smile that would light even the darkest room. I wish I’d had one teacher I could have felt that way about. Who taught under difficult circumstances. Who could come up with creative solutions to burdensome problems. Who remained dedicated, especially in extraordinary times.

     I grew up in a wonderful small town, population averaging 45,000. For perspective, when I moved to Colorado, the sports stadium would have held everyone from my hometown but still wouldn’t have reached the full capacity of 75,000 fans. My hometown wasn’t a perfect place but it was perfectly white. There was very little diversity. There was certainly no diversity in the teachers who stood in front of me, every school day, and taught me readin’, writin’ and ‘rithmetic. They taught the accepted (and rarely updated) curriculum. I read accepted literature and learned a very slanted view of history, especially regarding Native Americans. I did have a few teachers who took a chance and colored outside the lines, stepped outside that box. They taught what surely wasn’t in the traditional syllabus. But these teachers were the exception, not the rule. I feel an overwhelming sadness about that. What more could I have learned about people, culture, history—all history and life? What different perspectives might I have been exposed to? I certainly would have been better prepared for life.

     Since the advent of Black Lives Matter and Me Too, Hollywood has not only jumped on the band wagon but built a much bigger, shinier wagon. But shame on them! How many incredible performances, stories and chances to grow experientially have we lost because that self-same Hollywood didn’t green light projects with diverse casts or directors, producers or stories because the mainly white money people didn’t believe those projects would be profitable. Because a movie with diversity May have “limited” appeal at the box office. Obviously too many! We watched Coming 2 America with Eddie Murphy last night. He brought back a lot of the original movie cast members with a smattering of new faces. Was it the best movie I’ve seen this year? Probably not but it was fun, funny and made me feel good because everyone seemed to be having so much fun! In a year of not having much to look forward to, it was delightful to laugh out loud. All black cast (even the old Jewish man in the barbershop who in reality was Eddie). I’ve learned more about history from watching movies like Harriet, Hidden Figures, Madame C.J. Walker. Black Panther and television shows with diverse casts and documentaries about American history taught me more than I ever learned in school. (Thank you Ken Burns, National Geographic, History channel and PBS!) Hollywood has always presented themselves as broad-minded, liberal and fair but I believe attitudes about African Americans, Italian Americans, Hispanic Americans, Asian Americans, Jewish Americans, Muslim Americans, Native Americans and women have been formed by what we see in movies and on television. Continuing to portray all Muslims as terrorists, Hispanics as members of Cartels and African Americans as gang-bangers, Italians as Mafia, Native Americans as wild savages or women as subservient or inferior or just stupid justifies attitudes of those who already think those things are true. When you blur the line between fact and fiction it’s easier to believe the myths as you sit in a dark movie theater or a recliner in your own living room as you watch your favorite actor play it out on screen. It may even seem to validate your screwy thoughts. I cannot begin to imagine how gay actors feel when straight actors portray a LGBTQ character. Imagine a gay actor, looking for a break, gets an audition for a lead part but is not cast because another straight actor is perceived to be a bigger box-office draw. White actors have long played other ethnicities: Warner Oland/Charlie Chan comes to mind. Hispanics play Arabs and Mexicans and Native Americans. Scandinavians have played Germans. English actors routinely play Americans and Scotts and Irish. Of course actors like to stretch their acting “chops” but when there are talented actors, under-employed, who are the ethnicity or sexual orientation of the character, shouldn’t they get the role? Why can’t we have more honest representations? Let’s stop stereotyping – everyone. It is disparaging and dangerous. Too often it leads to racist speech that influences violent reaction like the recent killings/attacks on people of Asian decent. Don’t get me started on having women in tight skirts and high heels trying to run from imminent danger, tripping and falling. Or worse, having it be acceptable to be slapped around by a husband and/or boyfriend because your gender is considered inferior and weak? Watch 50s/60s television shows… What was up with that? 

     There are so many lessons from this past year. Some new lessons we all had to learn together. Toilet paper, while necessary, won’t mitigate a virus  or heal the sick or keep you safe. That women are not only necessary but an integral part of society. They are careful thinkers, fantastic problem solvers who, more often than not, are over-looked and under-appreciated. That no one matters more or less than anyone. We are all essential to the tapestry of this wonderful country. We all live the same kind of life. We love our children and get frustrated when we are treated as if we are as dumb as a box of hair. Or treated as if we don’t have value. When it is assumed we can’t figure out the difference between a fact and a lie. We truly are more alike than different. All of us come together to help whenever and wherever we are needed. If you want to be respected then you must first respect. If you want to be treated kindly then you must first be kind. If you had told me when I was that little white girl in her mostly white grade school that one day I would be married to an Egyptian, have bi-racial stepchildren, grandchildren, a niece and great-nieces, I wouldn’t have been able to imagine it. I had no frame of reference. The greatest thing I ever did for myself was move to Colorado where I have had exposure to so many different people. Thankfully I can say I have learned so much but not nearly enough. I’m committed to learning more each and every day.

     Some lessons we need to learn as individuals. How to ask questions and not accept things at face value. Don’t let lies sway you, seek out truth! Just because something is on social media or is “trending” doesn’t necessarily make it fact OR fiction. It is up to each of us to figure out what’s what, to not just accept the status quo. If you are going to vote for someone, know as much about them as you can. Do your research! And if someone you vote for isn’t doing what you believe they should be doing, write to them, email or better yet, go to a town hall meeting when they hold one. Make your voice heard. Justice only works if we hold people accountable. There must be consequences. The more people realize that fact, the less likely they may be to do so many things wrong. What I can’t wrap my head around is why people do bad things when they know they may be captured on a cell phone. Not to mention behaving stupidly without considering the consequences that will extend to their families, friends, colleagues and neighbors, anyone they know. Such inconsideration! Let’s all try to be kinder to each other. 

     Regardless of what some would have you believe, there is much more that unites us than separates us. More that we have in common. We all love, cry, laugh, dream. We’ve all been through a terrible pandemic. Every loss diminishes us all. Change is never easy but change needs to happen. We have reached a point in history, our history/world history and we can’t back away. The only motion has to be forward, progress instead of retrogression. It is imperative to change for our world to survive. We must take it seriously, for all our sakes.

This isn’t my country. This isn’t the country my father and many, many others fought and died for. And I’m angry and sad. I’ve been crying off and on all afternoon. Angry because my country has been taken away from me. It is not right or fair. I’m weary of hearing people say they’ve never seen anything like what has been happening, ever. I feel sure everyone has seen a spoiled rotten brat throw a temper-tantrum when they didn’t get what they wanted. Throwing themselves on the floor kicking and screaming or holding their breath until they turned blue. If you were the parent and allowed this behavior then you are just as, if not more than, responsible for your child’s ill-manners.

     I can disagree with you. I can have a different opinion or viewpoint. It does NOT mean I hate you. It does NOT mean I wish you dead or sick or maimed or bankrupt or wish for nothing but bad things to happen in your life. I didn’t feel the need to resort to calling you a derogatory name. I respect your right to think and express a contradictory perspective. Can you respect my right to the same thing? 

     Disenfranchisement means to deprive of a franchise, privilege, or right. It’s a term I’ve come to be very weary of hearing. As a woman, I’ve been disenfranchised my entire life just by the nature of being female. I’m rarely heard. Rarely taken seriously. Rarely given credit for knowing anything. Rarely treated as if I were competent to run my own life. Never did I feel the urge to go storm the capitol, destroy property or infringe on any one else’s right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

     Before you go criticizing the new administration for not doing very much remember today, January 6th, when our capitol was placed under siege. Property was damaged, offices were looted and vandalized. A woman lost her life. Remember it for it’s appalling nature but keep it in your memory as it was indicative of the four years preceding it. Four years of chaos, constant misrepresentation of facts, indifference instead of kindness, cold-hearted responses to death and violence, support for those who perpetrate violence for racist, homophobic and theological reasons. There is a lot in our country that needs repair. Our country still doesn’t have equality between races, genders, religions. We don’t have pay equity. Our infrastructures are crumbling. So many international bridges need to be rebuilt. Climate concerns that must be addressed if our planet is to survive. Civility, honesty, integrity, responsibility and humanity must be restored. And primarily, the disordered response to the pandemic. Slow inoculation rates, low vaccine amounts in the face of rising death rates. Unlike others, I don’t feel that “ it is what it is”. Too many people have died or lost loved family members and if this pandemic been handled intelligently, effectively, these families wouldn’t be grieving today. It has to be fixed, immediately.

     I’ve found myself thinking that maybe this country needed someone like the current president to wake us up. The last four years has brought us Me Too! Black Lives Matter! Issues that have been brought up before but have gone nowhere. Maybe it took a misogynistic, sociopathic compulsive liar to make things change! We have to change what we feel about climate and realize scientists, through years of study, know what they are talking about. We need to be informed about who we elect to public office. It’s not enough to vote for the party of your parents or friends or who’s trending. We need to make enlightened choices then hold those persons’ feet to the fire. We must uphold integrity, honesty, principles, decency; ideas that seem to have been lost and forgotten the last four years. I have no respect for nearly everyone. Not just in Washington but throughout this country because we seem to have lost what I loved most. When we elected a black man as president, I believed we were growing up as a nation. Real equality was happening. Equal treatment for women and LGBTQ persons. Then all hell broke loose. I can only hope the Phoenix will rise from the ashes of the last four years and fly into a beautiful new future.