Stronger Together 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 👨‍👨‍👧 👩‍👩‍👦👨‍👧👴🏽🧓🏼🐶🔗

     I had the great fortune this week to have part of my family here for a visit. We laughed, caught up and enjoyed each other’s company over a lovely dinner. At one point I made the statement I thought men needed to wise up before women came to feel they didn’t really Need men. What I  realized later, too late to do anything about it, was I sounded like a rabid feminist (which I’m not, really). I believe we need marriage and the commitment it demonstrates to spouses and children. We are stronger as families. However, I would be remiss if I didn’t also say I believe families come in all forms; two dads or two moms or single parents. Naturally conceived children, IVF babies, adopted kids, even foster children; families that don’t have any children at all. But we must accept those family groups, no matter what form they take.

     The idea I was trying to get across was this; I feel women in this country, and across the world, have been treated as second class from the beginning of time. Women don’t get equal pay, equal job consideration, equal promotion. Women in the military are finally getting promoted up the ranks but at what cost? Females in the military have been assaulted for decades, often without any consequences for the perpetrator. Actually, it’s a story that’s repeated in every profession, especially by men in power. My husband read me a story in the news that something like 1 out of 13 girl’s first sexual experience is rape. Many of these experiences aren’t reported or even spoken of to anyone else. Why? Because historically, the boy is rarely charged or worse, the girl is blamed.

     Women, certainly the ones I know, are intelligent, capable, strong, compassionate, hard-working, nurturing, loving and thoughtful. Women are inventive problem-solvers. They multi-task, are organized and conscientious. They raise families, run businesses and keep their lives (and their families lives) organized and interesting. Yet they still don’t get commensurate pay for the work they do. They are Not the weaker sex, not by a long shot. An eight hour work day is just as long and just as complex and difficult whether a man or a woman does it.

     When I went to high school (over 50 years ago), the fields acceptable for a woman were teacher, nurse, secretary, wife and mother. That’s what many of my peers pursued. Gratefully that isn’t true anymore. Women can absolutely be whatever they want; doctors, lawyers, CEOs, scientists, politicians, ambassadors, even Prime Ministers. But they are still woefully under-paid, harassed and often discounted or disrespected while doing the same job as their male counterpart.

     When I hear about cases of sex-trafficking, harassment, or sexual imprisonment, I wonder how any man can do those things to any one, let alone women or girls. Surely they have grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts, daughters or wives. Doesn’t the hypocrisy occur to them? Or are the strings of misogyny too strong? Does exerting “superiority” mean more than being decent and respectful? Do their own feeling of inadequacy compel them to treat woman as inferior or sub-human so they can feel better about themselves?

     The young girls and women I hear about today don’t seem to be plagued by a lack of self-esteem or self-confidence. They are strong and they know it. They can compete and win, and they know it. They don’t seek validation from others. They look for solutions, create opportunities and don’t look for permission. What I was trying, very badly, to say was all men need to respect women and their abilities. Stop being intimidated by them, see them for the assets they are. Accept them as equal partners in all things. I believe when male attitudes change, things will change. When fathers teach their sons to respect women, thing will change. When women know they deserve what they work hard to achieve but do not deserve to be belittled or dishonored, thing assuredly will change. All our lives will be better for it. We do need each other, we are stronger together, respecting and appreciating our differences instead of holding on to ancient notions.