Think!

     Remember when we used to pause, even think before we acted? Say someone did something to hurt you or said something about you to someone else. In defense, you wrote a letter to the person expressing your anger. Conceivably you could wait a few days before placing a stamp on the envelope and mailing it. You had time to cool off, reread what you’d written and maybe tear up the letter before it did further, irreparable damage. Time to rethink all the angry feelings, the hurt and frustration. Writing was (and is) cathartic. Often, you “got over” what incited you to write the letter in the first place.

     What about speaking without thinking? Remember being told “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Or “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Or, one I really love, “It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” When did we stop being considerate? Stop caring about what might hurt other people, their families and friends.

     When I was young, when someone said something hurtful, it was usually followed by “I was only teasing (or kidding or joking).” Didn’t make the words any less painful but it implied the speaker should be forgiven for their insensitivity because they didn’t know any better. Hopefully seeing the reaction to the words, the hurt look on someone’s face was enough to cause the speaker to feel shame or  regret. (But I doubt it. Fear of getting in trouble is more probable.)

     We’ve become a society of instant reactors. If we think it or feel it, we “tweet” it. No need to stop and consider what the consequences might be. No need to worry about how hurtful the words or names. After all, the interaction is anonymous, isn’t it? No need to see the look of hurt on the recipient’s face or worse, have to face any retaliatory response. “You’re a poopy head!” “No you are!” “Your Dad’s a crook.” “Your Mother’s a …” You get the picture.

     Angry feelings incite angry words. Once those words are spoken (or tweeted), they can’t be undone. The damage is done. If you don’t want to take the time to think before you speak, then you have to accept the consequences of your thoughts and words, whatever those might be. Words can be powerful and hateful. The wounds may be deep, the scars may be permanent. You also risk your own reputation because people may see you in a different light and not necessarily the way you want to be perceived or who you really are. On the other hand, people may see exactly who you are and realize you aren’t who they thought you were.

     It’s just too easy to react, type then hit send before you stop to consider how your words might be received. Don’t we have enough division without typing horrible, terrible things? Do we have the right to be vindictive or hurtful just because we have the technology to do so? I am happy to say I don’t tweet nor do I own a cellphone (and never will). As I blog, I take the time to read, reread and reread what I write here. I have to THINK before I publish. It does not matter what other people do, it only matters what we do. Let’s think more, be more considerate and less reactive.